Bargain Dentistry

Bargain Dentistry - Wooden Teeth Anyone?
By Steven Gluck

Aunt Esther said I could save a lot of money by having my dental work done in Mexico. I thought, “Yeah sure, but what kind of quality are we talking about?” I balked. I laughed at the suggestion of trading in my tried and true U.S. dentist for some over the border facsimile. It’s one thing to bargain for piñatas in the market place and it’s another to let any old body tinker with your teeth.

I even went so far as to suggest that my 86-year-old aunt might be trading dollars for wooden teeth. I took perverse pleasure in teasing her. I’m sure my sweet aunt seethed over that one. Never the less, she kept quietly affirming her and Uncle Bob’s positive experiences with their good old Progresso, Mexico dentist. I ignored her advice.

Then, old age kicked in. My perfect teeth suddenly needed ‘mucho expensive’ work. My daughter’s teeth required multiple fillings from a massive onslaught of sugar. My wife needed crowns on top of crowns. Our dentist started quoting numbers that sounded like hyper-inflated South American currencies. My frugal pocket book started to scream, “help”.

Then, coincidentally, I received an international newsletter that touted Mexican dentistry. It noted that many of the dentists were trained in the U.S. It further suggested that I could save a bundle over comparable stateside dentistry. That caught my attention. Now, I had corroboration. That perked up the tight wad in me. What, save money, for comparable work? Now, you’re talking my language. Suddenly, wooden teeth seemed implausible, and saving money seemed possible.

Soooo, I scheduled an appointment with a dentist in Progresso, Mexico, just over the border from McAllen, Texas. I didn’t know what to expect. Archaic conditions, ancient dentistry, middle age torture? Maybe someone would even slip in a wooden tooth or two. I was prepared to run, and run fast, at the first sign of trouble.

Boy, was I surprised? First, everybody spoke English. Sometimes a few words came out a little muddled, but pretty good English just the same. You had to listen carefully when the receptionist called out names. Bob would come out as Booob, Steve as Seeve, Brittany as Brrrtny, and Anna as Ahna. It was worth the price of admission just to hear how bizarrely your name could be adulterated over and over again until it gained some recognition.

Second, the waiting room and staff were first class. Neat, clean, and well orchestrated. The service area was first world, modern, and immaculately clean. I couldn’t find a speck of dust to mutter my view in any direction. These people were obsessive ‘clean freaks’. If only my house were this meticulous.

Another thing, the lobby was 100% full of retirees from the States. Hmmm…….. I thought, maybe they have found a good value. One thing I’ve always noticed is that seniors are pretty darn savvy. They’re on a fixed income and they’ve got time on their hands to find bargains. They’re often well educated and they are prone to communicate their findings amongst themselves.